Catron County Barbie

Peculiar has called me out on the New Mexico Barbie meme: what is Catron (Cabron, Cartoon) County Barbie like?

Catron County is a strange one in our strange state– I have good friends there (next county over from me) who would be unbelievable in fiction. It is high and cold and mountainous, contains a few thousand people in an area as large as Connecticut, and has a certain merrily lawless air– think of it as our (slightly) milder Sierra Madre. Theoretically, all households are REQUIRED to have guns.

It was formerly almost entirely dependent on cattle ranching, though now has diversified into a provider of big game hunting, real estate, and some murkier products.

There are two versions. Native CC Barbie is much like Clovis Barbie, but she has her own horses and was a barrel racer when she was a kid. Her Ken is a big game guide in order to make enough money to keep the ranch running, and spends August through January guiding fat rich guys from the flatlands after elk, hoping and praying they don’t get heart attacks from just walking around at 7500 feet.

We don’t know what “new” CC Barbie looks like because she rarely leaves the trailer house in the middle of the ten- acre dirt road “ranchette” lot that is hidden in the trees up on the Continental Divide. The trailer’s windows are covered with boards or tinfoil, and strange smells emanate from it. Her Ken is sometimes seen at the cafe in town. Like Old CC Ken, he wears camo, but over T-shirts with death metal themes. He sports a beard like a ZZ top member down to his belly, scratches a lot, and openly carries a cocked and locked 1911 .45. Do not startle him..

1 thought on “Catron County Barbie”

  1. Sounds right on to me, especially the new vs old dichotomy. Could pass without alteration for Custer County, ID Barbie, especially the “New”.

    As a nod to readers of the original Querencia, it should be noted that this Barbie’s horse never fucked nobody!

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