Excuses for Missing Work

I THINK I got this from the WSJ last week but all I have is a clipping…

Dog was having a nervous breakdown

My dead grandmother was being exhumed.

Toe was stuck in toilet

Upset by watching Hunger Games

Sick from reading too much

Hair turned orange while trying to dye it another color

My sobriety cutoff wouldn’t let me start my car.

2 thoughts on “Excuses for Missing Work”

  1. 'Toe was stuck in toilet' might actually be legitimate if you're talking about my sister. She has had her toe stuck in the bathtub faucet (wanted to see if it would fit), and stuck her head through the steering wheel of her car (wanted to see if it would fit.) While driving. Twice.

    'Hair turned orange while trying to dye it another color' has happened to me, but I didn't miss work because of it. We didn't have any kind of dress code at the college art department.

  2. Only "while driving" gives me momentary pause…

    The late Eli Tripp (Eli Sr. , so to speak) once was disappointed with an attempt to dye his hair "chrome"– I think he envisioned a Mylar trout fly effect– but that was in High School…


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